[JOKES] Children Joke of tea party

Mom went shopping, leaving Dad in charge of their daughter. Suzie was about 18 months old and loved playing with her new tea set. Dad was engrossed in the evening news when Suzie brought him a little cup of 'tea' (really just plain water).

He praised her good 'cooking,' so she brought him more. After several cups of 'tea,' and much praise, Mom came home.

"Honey, watch this," said Dad and had her wait in the living room as Suzie brought him another cup of tea.

"Isn't she just the cutest?"

Mom waited until he had polished off yet another cup of 'tea' before asking, "Did you ever think that the only place a baby can get water is the toilet?!"

[JOKES] Party Jokes about Halloween

Q: Why didn’t any skeleton get invited to the Halloween party?
A: They are a bunch of no bodies!

Q: Why do ghouls and demons got to Halloween parties together?
A: Because demons are ghouls best friends!

Q: Why was the goblin never invited to a Halloween party?
A: He was a mess eater!

Q: What do sea monsters eat at Halloween parties?
A: Fish and ships!

Q: Why did witches stop having Halloween parties in a cemetery?
A: Everybody kept dying to get in!

Q: Who did Dracula take to the Halloween party?
A: His GHOUL friend!

Q: Why did the teenage ghost Halloween party end so quickly?
A: Mummy and Deadly came home!

Q: how do you greet a ghost at a Halloween party?
A: “How do you boo, sir. How do you boo.”

Q: Why were all the zombies’ saying “no brainssss, no brainssss” at the Halloween party?
A: 13 blonde cheerleaders turn up!

Q: What do goblins and ghosts drink when at a Halloween party?
A: Ghoul-aid!

Q: Where does a ghost find the best jokes for Halloween parties?
A: HalloweenJokes.com!

Q: What food did the cowboy bring to the Halloween party?
A: Whip Screams!

Q: Why did the skeleton go to the Halloween barbecue party?
A: To get a couple of spare ribs!

Q: Why couldn’t the skeleton organise the Halloween party?
A: He was a lazy bones!

Q: Why do the mummy go to the Halloween party?
A: To relax and unwind!

Q: Why did the mummy go to the hip hop Halloween party?
A: She want to wrap!

Q: Where did the ghost like to have Halloween party?
A: The Boo-hamas!

Q: Why did the witch stand up in front of everybody at the Halloween party?
A: She had to give a screech!

Q: Did you have fun at the zombie Halloween party?
A: No, I had a rotten time. Every body tried to bite me!

Q: What happened to the cannibal who was late to the Halloween party?
A: They gave her the cold shoulder!

Q: What did the witch’s watch at the 90’s theme Halloween party?
A: The Hex Files!

Q: How do girl vampires find their prey at Halloween parties!
A: They bats their eyes!

Q: Why did the ghosts have a Halloween party at a bar?
A: For the boos!

Q: Why did the monsters have a Halloween party at a dairy farm?
A: For the fresh Scream!

Q: What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal Halloween party?
A: A BOO-tie!

Q: Did you hear about the ghost that got lost in fog on the way to the Halloween party?
A: He is missting now!

Q: Why is the Halloween dance party in a giant closet this year?
A: It’s the bogey monster event this year!

Q: What do all the best looking ghosts wear to the Halloween party?
A: Mas-scare-a!

Q: At the Halloween party why didn’t the ghost talk to it’s mummy?
A: She was in the living room!

Q: Why did the werewolves have such a great Halloween party?
A: They had funny bones to chew on!

Q: What did the skeleton sing at the Halloween Karaoke party?
A: Bad to the Bone!

Q: What are werewolves favourite Halloween party food?
A: HalloWEINIES!

Q: Did you know the best place to find Halloween party joke?
A: Yes, at halloweenjokes.com!

Q: Why did the baby ghost go to the doctor before the Halloween party?
A: To get a BOOster shot as there going to be some sick little monsters there!

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the Halloween party?
A. He had no body to dance with!

Q: What instrument did the skeleton play at the Halloween party?
A: The Trom-BONE!

Witch Says “Wow getting a Halloween party set up is real pain in the neck.”
Ghost says “I think the vampire arrived early!”

Q: Who was a big hit at the Halloween party?
A: Prank-enstein!

Q: What happen to the sea witch Halloween boat party?
A sea monster ate the ship!

Q: What Halloween dessert do ghost like to eat at here parties?
A: Booberry pies!

Q: Where do Horror writers have Halloween parties?
A cemetery. Thats where they get the plots from!

Q: What food did the scarecrow bring to the Halloween party?
A: Straw-berries!

Q: Why did everyone have neck braces on at the Halloween party?
A: The vampires were invite this year!

Q: How do the little ghost get to the Halloween party?
A: By Boo cycle!

Q: What Halloween party has blood oranges on the table?
A: One with vampires coming!

[JOKES]The vocabulary of Doctor

When the doctor says: "One of several things could cause your symptoms."
What the doctor means: "I haven't the foggiest idea what's wrong with you."

When the doctor says: "Are you certain you haven't had this before?"
What the doctor means: "Because now you've got it again."

When the doctor says: "I'd like to run that last test over."
What the doctor means: "The lab lost your sample."

When the doctor says: "This prescription has a few side effects."
What the doctor means: "You may experience sudden hair growth on your palms."

When the doctor says: "Your insurance should cover most of this."
What the doctor means: "You'll have to sell your house to cover the rest."

When the doctor says: "Let's go over your symptoms once more."
What the doctor means: "I can't remember who you are."

When the doctor says: "How long have you had these symptoms?"
What the doctor means: "How do you feel about living with them the rest of your life?"

When the doctor says: "It looks like bursitis."
What the doctor means: "Does the name "Quasimodo" ring a bell?"

When the doctor says: "This won't hurt much."
What the doctor means: "Did you bring a bullet to bite?"

When the doctor says: "There's a lot of this going around."
What the doctor means: "And we'll give it a name as soon as we figure out what it is."

When the doctor says: "We'll just remove this ingrown toenail."
What the doctor means: "A cane and orthopedic shoes should help.

[JOKES] math problem with ducks

The math professor's six-year-old son knocks at the door of his father's study.

"Daddy", he says. "I need help with a math problem I couldn't do at school."

"Sure", the father says and smiles. "Just tell me what's bothering you."

"Well, it's a really hard problem: There are four ducks swimming in a pond, when two more ducks come and join them. How many ducks are now swimming in the pond?"

The professor stares at his son with disbelief: "You couldn't do that?! All you need to know is that 4 + 2 = 6!"

"Do you think, I'm stupid?! Of course, I know that 4 + 2 = 6. But what does this have to do with ducks!?"

[JOKES]6 TIMES 7

Teacher: “Who can tell me what 7 times 6 is?”

Student: “It is 42!”

Teacher: “Very good – And who can tell me what 6 times 7 is?”

Same student: “It’s 24!”

Teacher: ....ooo xxxx ....

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[JOKES]Jokes about computer

Q: What did the spider do on the computer?
A: Made a website!

Q: What did the computer do at lunchtime?
A: Had a byte!

Q: What does a baby computer call his father?
A: Data!

Q: Why did the computer keep sneezing?
A: It had a virus!

Q: What is a computer virus?
A: A terminal illness!

Q: Why was the computer cold?
A: It left it's Windows open!

Q: Why was there a bug in the computer?
A: Because it was looking for a byte to eat?

Q: Why did the computer squeak?
A: Because someone stepped on it's mouse!

Q: What do you get when you cross a computer and a life guard?
A: A screensaver!

Q: Where do all the cool mice live?
A: In their mousepads

Q: What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant?
A: Lots of memory!