Q: What did the traffic light say to the car?
A: Don’t look. I’m about to change.
Q: What did the fisherman say to the magician?
A: Pick a cod, any cod.
Q: What did the snowman say to the other snowman?
A: Do you smell carrots?
Q: Why can’t Cinderella play soccer?
A: Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Q: Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
A: She will Let It Go.
Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping in the park?
A: They woke him up.
Q: Why is there a fence around a cemetery?
A: People are dying to get in.
Q: What music frightens balloons?
A: Pop music.
Q: How does Darth Vader like his toast?
A: On the dark side.
Q: What room doesn’t have doors?
A: A mushroom.
Q: What do you say when you lose a Wii game?
A: I want a Wii-match.
Q: What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
A: The same middle name.
Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
A: In case he got a hole in one.
Q: What did the policeman say to his belly button?
A: You’re under a vest.
Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A: Because he never lands.
Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogie in it.
Q: Why was the broom late?
A: It over-swept.
Q: What did one toilet say to the other toilet?
A: You look flushed.
Q: Which is the longest word in the dictionary?
A: “Smiles,” because there are miles between each “s.”
Q: What stays in a corner and travels all over the world?
A: A stamp.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof?
A: Never mind, it’s over your head.
Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A: Stick with me and we’ll go places together.
Q: What race is never run?
A: A swimming race.
Q: Why did the little boy throw his clock out the window?
A: Because he wanted to see time fly.
Q: What has two legs but can’t walk?
A: A pair of pants.
Q: How does a train eat?
A: It goes chew chew.
Q: Do you know how many famous men and women were born on your birthday?
A: None, only babies.
